@jazmasta: I thought I saw an octopus but it was just 8 eels kissing a butternut squash.
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@vodkachrome: My next relationship will be with someone who thinks "Wine" is a perfectly acceptable answer when he asks what's for dinner.
@GrantTanaka: son: hey dad me: [picks up phone, dials 9] yes son: now don’t get mad me: [dials 1] ok son: do we have a fire extinguisher me: [dials 1]
@Book_Krazy: 911 What's your emergency Me: I'm calling to complain about the quality of this cocaine 911: The police are on their way Me: Thanks
@BlackCatBettie: You and I share a very special connection. *I'm parked outside your house using your Wi-fi.