@TheWoodenslurpy: I thought I saw Jesus in a cookie. But I was wrong. It was just a guy who looked like him.
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@KeetPotato: lawyer: "my client claims the altercation began because - and i quote - "he came at me sideways" crab: "in my defence.."
@Shot_Of_Cabo: The good thing about being a chubby chaser is you don't have to run very fast or very far.
@anjadrisch: My anti bacterial hand wash promises to kill germs & moisturise at the same time. Such violence & nurturing from the one product.
@TheBoydP: The best thing about being an accountant is that everyone assumes you’re not a psychopath.