@fuzzlime: I thought it was a staring contest but then I realized the guy had a glass eye so now I can never go back to that gas station again.
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@mrjohndarby: Just seconds before we make the jump to light speed the captain nears my console to check my calculations. I minimise solitaire just in time
@CharlieDontSrf: If I were an old Chinese man I would never say anything, just nod and laugh strategically to freak people out
@LoveNLunchmeat: I used to think people who looked for sex on craigslist were rock bottom... Then I discovered twitter.
@notacroc: [getting my license] Me: *points at gas gauge* the car just ate so we have to wait 30 minutes Instructor: *unclicks seatbelt*