@fuzzlime: I thought it was a staring contest but then I realized the guy had a glass eye so now I can never go back to that gas station again.
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@djdarrellripley: Me: Has anyone ever told you, you have the softest brown eyes? Her: No. Besides, my eyes are blue. Me: No wonder nobody's ever told you...
@Brianhopecomedy: They must have had a really good laugh when doctors realized that thermometers could be taken orally too.
@bourgeoisalien: I imagine one day my dearest friends will say at my funeral, "Wow. What an idiot. Who chokes to death on orange sherbet?"