@fuzzlime: I thought it was a staring contest but then I realized the guy had a glass eye so now I can never go back to that gas station again.
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@Aimiekins: You enter. "I've been expecting you," I say from behind the massive swivel chair. I put too much leg into turning around & spin for 5 mins.
@causticbob: MISSING: Black and white cat with red collar. Very intelligent. Mittens, if you're reading this, please come home.
@ojedge: [on a first date] "Have [gestures across the whole menu] whatever you want. I hear the McRib is particularly excellent this time of year."