@SamDelanche: I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.
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@TheDairylandDon: Dammit, phone. It's always been 'this' and never 'thus.' I've got clumsy sausage fingers, not a conclusion to my dissertation.
@SadPeruna: Sorry about your lost dog. If you liked it, then you should've put a leash on it. If you liked it, then you should've put a leash on it.
@bobvulfov: (staying in on a friday night) this is depressing and lonely (at a bar on a friday night) oh wow i hate this more