@FuckabillyRex: I thought she said "tantrum sex" and this is probably the most I've ever disappointed a woman.
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@ericsshadow: [Starbucks intercom] "Will the man that ordered the Skinny Cinnamon Dolce Latte please pick up your drink. No one is looking."
@KyleMcDowell86: *police sirens* *Dad bursts into my room wearing a Princess Leia costume* "HIDE THIS NO TIME TO EXPLAIN" *throws bag of cinnamon buns at me*
@KyleMcDowell86: *police sirens* *Dad bursts into my room wearing a panda suit* QUICK HIDE THESE NO TIME TO EXPLAIN *throws a litter of panda cubs at me*