@FuckabillyRex: I thought she said "tantrum sex" and this is probably the most I've ever disappointed a woman.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MariyaAlexander: Someone please recommend a self-help book that can teach me how to sleep through an alarm.
@Eightinchgoat: Whoever said "The best things in life are free" obviously knew a very unsuccessful coke dealer.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Coworker: These heels are killing my feet but they're so cute. Me: These ugly Sketchers I'm wearing have insides made out of memory foam.