@FuckabillyRex: I thought she said "tantrum sex" and this is probably the most I've ever disappointed a woman.
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@KeetPotato: [gets pulled over] cop: "sir, do you know how fast you were going?" [i've swapped places with the dog] me: "answer the man"
@mattytalks: (Hot babe to me) your brooding drives me wild, what's going on inside your head (Me, thinking about a panini) I don't want to talk about it
@Mothpete: The home cooked pizza box says to cook the pizza between 14 and 16 minutes. That's 15 minutes, right? I'm not reading too much into it?