@FuckabillyRex: I thought she said "tantrum sex" and this is probably the most I've ever disappointed a woman.
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@MommaUnfiltered: My daughter asked me if I know how to do the Running Man, like my generation didn't invent it. Anyway, that's what brings me to the ER.
@yenniwhite: Parenting goals before having kids: make tons of blanket forts, never lose your temper, appreciate every minute. After: sit down.
@Try2StopME: My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs... I've been his customer for 6 years. I had no idea he was a barber.