@bambimygirl: I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink. Turns out it was the refrigerator.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@thepunningman: Passer-by: hey buddy, do you have change for the phonebox? Clark Kent: why would I change in a phonebox? P: I didnt- CK: I'm not Superman
@enclaire: Bored, so I'm going to find a kid that looks like me and tell her I'm her from the future.
@PleaseBeGneiss: WIFE: our son has an A in Biology! ME: *shoving another donut in my mouth* I wasn't the one who taught him how to spell