@WoodyLuvsCoffee: I thought white noise was the sound of people complaining at Starbucks.
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@summerofbenny: "I think this chlorine is healing my anal fissure." - Things not to say in a swimming pool. Apparently.
@MrsGoose69: Me: Please can you get my iPad in the lounge? 5yr: I think you should poo without it. I just play with my fingers and sing and stuff...
@Jam453Lane: They always say to follow your gut, that's why this is my 11th trip to the fridge for another beer.