@SSDated: I told a boy I loved him once. We were 6. He punched my arm & stole my cake. Life lesson. Never lose sight of what's important. #Cake.
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@berniethoughts: WHY DO WE ALLOW OTHER COUNTRIES TO TAG THEIR NAME ON TO SOMETHING AND SELL US LIES WHEN THEY DO IT WRONG? CANADIAN BACON? ENGLISH MUFFINS?
@MeanGein: Algebra is like sex. I didn't really get it in high school, and I definitely don't get it now.
@IndigoCheese: Lost my first follower today. Funeral is Tuesday. Will be live tweeting. It's what he would have wanted.
@murrman5: [wife yelling in waterpark] "BRENT SOMEONE IS STEALING THE CAR" [top of huge slide] K IM STILL GONNA TAKE THE SLIDE DOWN CUZ IT'll BE FASTER