@desi_princess: I told my boss I'm calling in sick today. He said, "You can't do that when you're already here." Is that true you guys?
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@GoodnightSanity: My toddler begged to go swimming and then threw a tantrum because she didn't want to get wet in case you were on the fence about having kids
@stonedcognition: These cat babies are straight up gangsta. I'm going to name them all after Friends characters. The one I hate will be Ross.
@Robert_Beau: I just released a new fragrance, and the people on this elevator are not happy about it.