@discountzen: I told my husband that instead of leaving his dirty dishes on the counter, he should leave them in 1952 so a nice housewife cleans them up.
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@Snarfernini: If you ever say 'I seen' in a sentence. I will never sleep with you. Under any circumstances. Ever.* *including zombie apocalypse
@GatewayHug: *Holding my newborn son* Wife: What about Mike? Me: Yeah that's it, great name! *Drops Mike*