@donni: I told the 8 clowns in a tiny cop car to "clown arrest me! Take me to clown jail!" And they did. Bail has been set at 150 banana cream pies.
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@Bagyants: If you love something, let it go. From the creators of "If you're tired, go for a run," and "If you're on fire, eat bees"
@loudmouth_usa: Me: Ma'am your pet is loud. Lady: That's my baby. Me: Ma'am your pet baby is loud
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: I played this as a kid. It's from back when video games made sense 6-year-old: Why did you jump on a turtle? Me: Because I'm a plumber
@iwearaonesie: wife: What would you do if 9 told you he was gay? me [looking for the remote] Ask him if he's seen the remote