@NYC_Blonde: I told the barista my name was "Britney Spears" just for giggles and he handed me my coffee with "annoying white girl" written on it instead
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@lemmywinkler: The "oops, wrong hole" excuse doesn't work when she catches you with her best friend.
@Elizasoul80: I don't have an inner child. I have an inner old person who wants everyone to shut up.
@misfarber: Anthropic principle: the universe must be as it is in order for us to perceive it Anthropomorphic principle: look, I'm a talking principle!
@eeethanford: Son have I told you about the birds & the bees? Dad you're an ornithologist & moms an entomologist it's literally all you guys talk about