@NYC_Blonde: I told the barista my name was "Britney Spears" just for giggles and he handed me my coffee with "annoying white girl" written on it instead
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@Mikecanrant: A guy with a locked account just asked me why I never retweet him. Stay in school kids.
@Douchekevin: A 25 year old just told me she's gonna rock my world. I'm 47 so I assume she's gonna show me where to buy comfortable shoes & soft licorice
@ItsJayWhittaker: "You miss 100% of the shots you never take." - Wayne Gretzky "You miss 100% of the shots you DO take." - Stormtroopers
@robfee: My diet has slowly gone from balanced and nutritious to Augustus Gloop on the first stop of Willy Wonka's tour.