@NYC_Blonde: I told the barista my name was "Britney Spears" just for giggles and he handed me my coffee with "annoying white girl" written on it instead
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@Cheeseboy22: Sometimes, during the movie previews, I'll turn to the stranger sitting next to me and whisper, "We should really go see that together."
@Laser_Cat: Congratulations, Mrs. Smith. You have a healthy baby clown. Oh look, twins! Triplets! Somebody get a camera. Four, five, six...
@silvertongue37: My ex wife recently told me I run away from my problems. Apparently not far enough.