@NYC_Blonde: I told the barista my name was "Britney Spears" just for giggles and he handed me my coffee with "annoying white girl" written on it instead
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@QwertyJones3: "WHAT?? You ate the last of the cantaloupe?? This is the worst day ever!" Can you please stop being so melondramatic.
@Donnie_Fairburn: Insanity [in•san•i•ty] (noun): Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results See Also: Going back to your ex
@kittykaresless: Boss confused me with another employee and fired me. Then called two days later to fire me for not showing up for 2 days. #HowIGotFired
@MUMSIEesq: CASHIER: This bag of chips is open ME: Yup C: This bag of candy is open M: Yup C: This bag of-- M: Look buddy, I know all the bags are open