@Firawesome: I told you I'm busy! Who are you going to believe, me or the last 20 tweets I posted?
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@seandunn76: "What about this? What about this? And this?"--me, taunting museum curator MC Hammer.
@lazerdoov: Pretty lame how horses and dogs don't capitalize on their ability to wear 2 pairs of jean shorts at once
@ericsshadow: [anniversary dinner] HER: tell me something that will make my heart race ME: my credit card got declined
@MummaCrazy: *Runs a bath Me: ok, jump in 3: it's too hot *Adds cold water Me: Ok, get in 3: it's too cold Apparently I gave birth to Goldilocks.