@House_Feminist: I took my kids' screens away so we could spend some quality time together and it turns out they are really terrible to be around
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@kelkulus: Women are like bacon, they smell great, taste delicious and kill you slowly. Men are like bacon because we're pigs.
@KeetPotato: oh, so now star wars is the best thing you've ever seen, is it? "yes, and?" so you've forgotten about the time we saw a snake wearing a hat?
@13spencer: Katy Perry says that god spoke to her before the Super Bowl and said “you got this,” so it’s safe to say that god has crappy taste in music.