@TheHyyyype: i took my metal detector to the beach and found a huge slayer concert
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@OctoberJones: In honour of Agatha Christie, turn off all the lights and kill one of your work colleagues.
@ch000ch: (reads smudged writing on hand during date) i just want to say that u look really preffy tonight
@spikeWilton67: Relationship Status: Got put in the friend zone by a succubus playing around on a Ouija board. I can't even get lucky in the spirit world.
@The_Amazon_Eve: "Oh, you decided to close your bedroom door with me on the outside? Allow me to sing you the song of my people." -my cat