@malber: I totally baby-proofed my house, but one still got in.
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@Phook75: Now reached the age where getting lucky is what happens when I can remember where I set my glasses down at
@cepheusjackson: ME: The plane has wifi? Sweet, I'm going to Skype call that radio psychic. RADIO PSYCHIC: Go ahead caller, you're on the air ME: HOLY SHIT
@jwoodham: I socially identify as the guy who tried to jump off of the sinking Titanic but ending up hitting a massive propeller on the way down.
@mishakey: If you stop at a yellow light I'm going to assume you have something illegal in your car.