@rodney_at_large: I tried oscillating once. Not a fan.
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@Jake_Vig: Average Guy: [writes her a song] Girl: "Yeah, whatever." Hot Guy: "Sup." Girl: "Oh my god, you're so creative!"
@Lexiedeadpool: That awkward moment when you gently toss your phone on the bed and it bounces off 3 walls, breaks 2 lamps and kills a cat...
@ColoChiver: If I had to guess where everything went wrong, I'd have to say it was the day I learned "elemenopee" wasn't one awesome letter.
@gerryhallcomedy: Dear guy who parked his Lexus across two parking spaces: Your car got paint on my keys.