@sarcasticmommy4: I tried that whole "if you love something, set it free" thing but my kids are still here.
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@MarlonBrandNO: [Date] (don't let her know you're an alien larva) Her: I wonder where he is? *I burst through her chest* Me: Did you order yet? I'm starved
@OhNoSheTwitnt: I wish airlines would stop calling it your "final destination" have they not seen those movies?
@annabeloakes: My husband asked what Vine was while reading a BOOK. Hahaha 1910 called, it wants its intellect strengthening form of entertainment back!
@NoFucksWereGave: My teacher was pointing a ruler at me an said, "There's an idiot at the end of this ruler!" I got detention after asking which end.