@Sickayduh: I tried to kill a spider by drowning it in douche and now it keeps picking fights with me on social media
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@sofarrsogud: Hootenanny is just one of those stupid made up words, like 'ambition' and 'productivity'.
@215potter: My neighbor's facebook movie is just a montage of me caught on surveillance video, stealing his newspaper every morning.
@Steelers1972: A spider just fell from the ceiling and landed right in front of me and now I have to explain why a woman was screaming in my cubicle.