@theshamingofjay: Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is my favorite story about how you will get treated like shit until you have something someone else needs

@bugspunny1: Wife: Is Mexican food ok for dinner? Don't just text back k. Husband: Que

@bridger_w: This year, teach your kids the true meaning of Easter by trapping them in a stone tomb for three days.

@ericsshadow: I'm starting to regret my "2015 FOREVER" tattoo.

@birbigs: Alright. It's Sunday. Another Breaking Bad. Or if you don't watch the show, an hour of confusing tweets.