@thepunningman: Doctor: Can you point to where it hurts
Me: [gestures wildly towards The News]
@therealeatwood: SANTA: I don’t need a surveillance guy. I see all!
ELF ON SHELF: Seen these? [shows pics of Mommy kissing Santa Claus]
S: When can u start
@ThaJawn: Hipster: Check out my mini..
Me: *snatches and eats
Hipster:.. Bonsai tree
Me: *swallows* It's alright for a veggie
Hipster:
Me: anymore?
@KalvinMacleod: [pet therapy]
THERAPIST: ok slow
ME: *pets 2 dogs*
T: just 1
M: *pets 3 dogs*
T: Nurse, restrain him, he’s
M: *pets 4 dogs*
T: roverdosing
@OnlyFastEddie: "I'm great in bed" ~ breakfast
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