@markleggett: I tried to take a photo of a huge bug in my bathroom, but when I put a coin next to it for scale IT TOOK THE COIN AND PUT IT IN ITS WALLET.
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@Reverend_Scott: Sometimes I ask myself, what would Aquaman do? So I sit in the bathtub and cry about how useless I am.
@CruisinSoozan: You want to sext? *blushes* Ok, but I'm not very good at it. *frantically types* AS I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH...
@Joydas: Half of Americans must be thinking Gaza Strip is the name of some Strip Club which Israel wants
@jonnysun: *sees a baby screaming on the plane* wait-- WAIT. WHY IS HE SCREAMING. OH MY GOD WHY IS HE SCREAMING. WHAT DOSE HE KNOW THAT WE DONT