@BooFricketyHoo: I tried yoga and I think my downward dog looked more like winnie the pooh getting stuck in rabbit's door.
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@beefman138: I have done about 300 crunches for my new exercise routine. 299 of them are Nestlé.
@djdarrellripley: Her: Isn't she your girlfriend? Me: No, No, No, I broke up with her two days ago. She just hasn't checked her voice mail yet...
@jus4golf: To impress the guys I told them I was dating an artist. I didn't tell them her preferred medium was sandwiches.
@Rick_IZ: People who lick their fingers then page through the papers on the printer Just throw it out. I'll print it again.