@koalaslament: I try and avoid picking up turtles on the side of the road. Just in case they're in the middle of a race.
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@BuckyIsotope: Black rotten roses & run over kittens Teeth falling out & a test is unwritten Naked in public becoming a meme Theseareafewofmyterribledreams
@Swain_Train47: Jim: What shall we name our new playground invention? Roy: Idk. The playground business sure is a Jungle, Jim. Jim: ...Say that again.
@ValeeGrrl: Me: [in bathroom] 7yo: [knocks] MOMMY? Me: Yeah pal 7: IT'S ME Me: I know 7: YOUR SON Me: Knew that too
@iwearaonesie: [Bar] me: Gimme one more wife: I think you've had enough m: Last one w: Fine m: *asks waitress for another kids menu so I can do the maze*