@inigoomontoya: I try to always be the bigger person by hanging out with a lot of short people
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@Thynebear: [on the phone with wife] Honey, who do you like better, Hulk Hogan or Jafar from Aladdin? "Tell me why." [winks at tattoo artist] No reason.
@iscoff: Eating food off the floor, taking pills, trying to chase away ghosts? I grew up to be Pac-Man