@dougbies: I turn hot dog water into ice cubes for house guests I don't like
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@Mindless4Miles: Hopefully women like a mature man. Because when I say I can do it multiple times a day, I mean vacuum.
@globetrottgirl: Come on Canada, first Celine, then Nickelback, NOW Bieber!? Are you TRYING to provoke a war?
@katy_fit: Remember kids, don't light your own fireworks. Have the adults who have been drinking all damn day do it.
@Book_Krazy: *Steals parking spot from guy backing in* Him:*middle finger* Me: [rolls down window] I SEE THAT YOU'RE NOT MARRIED. I ALSO AM NOT MARRIED