@dougbies: I turn hot dog water into ice cubes for house guests I don't like
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: Fun Fact: For the cost of a dozen red roses, you could also get a dozen beers and a dozen wings at happy hour. Prob even pay for parking too
@withanewname: "Kids, part of my comprehensive zombie apocalypse plan are these Tshirts to keep up with each other" "Daddy, why do ours say appetizer?"
@DrDogMD: PATIENT: Since I got this new job my feet are killing me. DR DOG: What's your job? PATIENT: Mailman DR DOG: *chases him out of room barking*