@Rollinintheseat: I use a wheelchair. When I’m at a job interview and they ask me what my biggest weakness is, I want to say “A flat tire”.
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@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: I wish we all had infinity dollars Me: That’d wreck the economy 5: I just- Me: Go to your room until you understand inflation
@TheBoydP: I’m not saying I’m a great dad, I’m just saying it’s a holiday weekend and I’m wearing cargo shorts with a Hawaiian shirt…