@Rollinintheseat: I use a wheelchair. Whenever I'm at a job interview and they ask me what my greatest weakness is, I always want to say, "Stairs".
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@weinerdog4life: If you see a cat with a dart in it, that's my cat and I need him back, we aren't done yet.
@Vice_Queen: My ex is such a loser that if there was a competition for the world's biggest loser, he'd still only win 2nd place.
@Book_Krazy: *Takes off clothes *Enters meeting room naked *Coworkers gasp in horror *Slowly backs out of room [whispers] "you said debriefing"
@Stevie___C: If a dentist make their money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should I trust a toothpaste that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?