@Rollinintheseat: I use a wheelchair. Whenever I'm at a job interview and they ask me what my greatest weakness is, I always want to say, "Stairs".
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@TheMichaelRock: Only attractive people that get laid all the time troll people on the internet. Everybody knows that.
@SomeChrisTweets: All of my friends are getting married and loving their careers and then there's me, luring wayward ships into the rocks with ethereal songs.
@sofarrsogud: ME: Cauliflower is bullshit. EXECUTIONER: Those are really gonna be your last words?