@BBQJones28: I use someone calling me during a phone call as an opportunity to hang up on both of them.
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@AimeeHelene1: I feel like I might kill someone today, and I'm starving. So clearly the best solution is to just eat someone.
@peterjames48: Birth certificates need a popup dialog box: "Are you SURE you want to spell your kid's name that way?"
@Underchilde: I know I should be searching for my missing friend, but there’s a lot of food in his apartment that’ll spoil if I don’t eat it.
@AaronEves: "Who am I talking to, Ouija Board™?" *S-A-T-A-N* "Satan, do any boys in my class like me?"