@BBQJones28: I use someone calling me during a phone call as an opportunity to hang up on both of them.
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@iwearaonesie: [commercial for kids] woman *opens pantry and 6 bags of chips fall out* ARGH! narrator: Are you tired of having food in your house?
@TheNardvark: The movie Scarface taught us that abusing cocaine can lead to making bad decisions--for example: the script, the soundtrack, and the acting.
@timdonakowski: Thousands of married racists are waking up this morning and questioning the skin color of their spouse.