@juliussharpe: I used to see people alone at restaurants and feel bad for them. Now I'm with a screaming two year old wondering, "Who is that solo genius?"
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@LurkAtHomeMom: Pediatrician: How much water does she drink? Me: You mean like water water or bath water?
@HandyJack420: Wait...so I get a million dollars AND I get to punch a baby in the face? -me when someone asks if I would punch a baby for a million bucks