@juliussharpe: I used to see people alone at restaurants and feel bad for them. Now I'm with a screaming two year old wondering, "Who is that solo genius?"
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@CutCopyPasta: [Pet Store] Clerk: Ma'am what can I help you with today? Me: hi I'd like to buy this line C: You mean snake? M: Yes your largest worm please
@GingerHotDish: I'm not saying the character Merida was modeled after me, but I too would rather win an archery contest than be married.
@BradBroaddus: It really creeps me out the way my neighbor stares at me when I'm looking through her window.