@Cain_Unable: I used to think Pet Insurance was a waste of money but my cat is at the vets & they've sent us a really lovely little courtesy cat.
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@truegritrumble: WIFE:Did you get the spaghetti? ME:Better. WIFE:Better? ME:Look at this crazy, wild spaghetti I found outside! *hands just full of snakes*
@SortaBad: Babies are like Starbucks because they're expensive as shit and yet you still forget them on the roof of your car
@lisaxy424: I'm at the point in my life where "friend with benefits" just means a person who gives me their Bed Bath & Beyond coupons.