@seamusmckracken: I walk around with mentos in my ears so everyone thinks I have an iphone 7.
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@attheUC: If there's more than one apocalypse, is it apocalypses or apocali? I just want to be ready.
@T_N_Crumpets: Wife: I just wanted our honeymoon to be special. Me holding 2 Nintendo64 controllers: Me too, but you need to hurry and pick a character.
@Wuttercuerk: I wear Lacoste shirts with the little crocodile on them because when shit goes down I want crocodiles to know that I'm on their side.
@daemonic3: [cow pushing 5 shopping carts out of store] Ugh, why do I keep shopping for groceries on 4 empty stomachs