@Storminika: I walked past a lady in her car with convertible down. She locked the door out of fear. So I smacked her in the back of the head & ran way
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@Zac_Franklin: my default response when someone questions a risky text of mine is "sorry, I was drunk." But now everyone thinks I'm an alcoholic so..shit.
@B1gBrainsMcGee: "I guess we should make them sound like a space shuttle is taking off during an a-bomb explosion." -person who invented hand dryers
@AristotlesNZ: The obvious way to smuggle drugs past a drug sniffing dog would be to hide it in another dog's ass.