@Parentpains: I wanna be the reason you get out of bed in the morning, even if it is to make sure the door is locked.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Me: *explains idea* Boss: That's the dumbest idea ever Me:*clears throat* *repeats exact same idea in a British accent* Boss: Brilliant!
@djdarrellripley: After we got the divorce she let me have everything. Except the jewelry, and of course something to keep it in. I call it "the house"..
@themorris23: I wish I was as committed to anything the way infomercial actors are committed to over dramatizing their reaction to household chores.