@nerdreign: I want a firsthand test of the "mo money, mo problems" hypothesis.
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@SvetySveta: Daughter made me a dish: Me, swallowing: Mmm, it's so delicious! And even smells like strawberries! Her: It's because of the shampoo.
@mrbuster60: "My uncle is a dead person guy". Me last night when I couldn't think of the word mortician
@rockymomax: DRUG DEALER: whatya want? ME: *takes his hand in mine* what do YOU want? DRUG DEALER: *tearing up* no one ever asks me that