@TheJamieLee: I want a pen pal! Like a pen I can really talk to.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@_ethelbeavers: If you're pissed off about a non-white Santa Claus then I've got some very bad news for you about Jesus.
@ShipInTheKnight: Twitter is like a conversation at the water cooler. If the water cooler was full of vodka. And you could smoke. And the boss was out of town
@sageboggs: "OH MY SWEET GOD BE CAREFUL. OH- OH MY DEAr LORD GOD. HOW? HOW??" -me watching gymnastics
@KevinFarzad: It truly bothers me how many people would marry someone just for their money. Because I'm trying to do that & you're lowering my chances.