@TheJamieLee: I want a pen pal! Like a pen I can really talk to.
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@ItsAndyRyan: *kissing on small couch* Her: We should have a threes- Me: I'll call Karen Her: ...three-seater. Karen? Me: I believe Karen sells furniture
@SodomyClown: I don't kill spiders because when spiders become our mutant overlords and eat us, they will look at me and say, "She's cool. Let her live."
@Ygrene: No time to exercise? Get the results of a 30 minute workout in only 3 seconds by accidentally stepping on your cat on the stairs in the dark