@TheJamieLee: I want a pen pal! Like a pen I can really talk to.
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@iinkedZombie: Wife [returns home] have you eaten Me: have you eaten Wife: are you copying me?! Me: are you copying me Wife: I Love You Me: I already ate
@TheMichaelRock: When my car starts making weird noises I just assume it's becoming a Transformer.
@Playing_Dad: Coworker: How are you doing this morning? Me: *finishing hanging bag of coffee upside down like an IV and tying my arm off* Fine, you?