@DancesWithTamis: I want a rich person to hire me to float around in their pool and feed me bread I want to be a wealthy person's duck
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Elizasoul80: Turn your trip to the grocery store into a ninja challenge by shopping strictly out of other people's carts when they're not looking.
@SortaBad: *Someone sends me a 4 minute video* me: [42 seconds later] wow that's so awesome thanks for sharing!
@CorkyKneivel: I can't get her off my mind, even the wind seems to whisper her name. Never fall in love with a girl named WHOOSHEE FFREWERRREFSHH.
@david8hughes: [son hands me a picture he painted] Me: what's this Son: it's our house Me: have you ever actually looked at our house