@DancesWithTamis: I want a rich person to hire me to float around in their pool and feed me bread I want to be a wealthy person's duck
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@KatieBurnett: Your outfit says you work in an office, but your shoes say it might have a pole in it
@Dawn_M_: Someone asked me if I'd found my soulmate and I was like lol I cant even find my debit card.
@PinkCamoTO: Dear Neighbours, "She's coming" isn't a great warning to give when I walk by and you stop talking.
@rickolantern: *stands on scanner at self checkout, weighing self after keying in mango code, just to see what net worth is in mangoes