@funnyoneliners: I want my children to be independent headstrong people. Just not while I'm raising them.
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@NoticablyBacon: God: let's put berries on bushes Angel: Yeah that will be easy food for humans God: Make some poisonous Angel: why God: it's like a game
@LaetPO: Marriage is so disrespected as an institution nowadays that soon brides may be tossing the groom and keeping the bouquet.
@Mr_Kapowski: *runs into dental hygienist in store* Me: How are you? Her: *starts to respond but I shove my fingers in her mouth* Me: Not so easy huh
@CharmandBrains: A required corporate training course said to build strong relationships. Also, HR told me it's "inappropriate" to kiss strangers.