@rage_chaos: I want the job where you push scared skydivers off the plane.
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@JasonLastname: LOST DOG: 4 year old border collie. Still living at home but doesn't know what to do with his life.
@mayamanion: My 42 yr old friend is dating a 24 yo guy, she caught him cheating so she took away his play station for a week
@farahfergie: Premarital counseling should be having the couple put together IKEA furniture with limited Wi-Fi connection. #weddingparty #romance
@onascaleof1210: To the person crowding me in the checkout line, do you want a hug .. 'cause if you get any closer, I'm gonna assume you do and give you one.