@shadygeekdad: I want to be a host at a restaurant so if someone asks for a booth I can yell, "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE BOOTH!"
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@alicewhitey: How do you get in touch with the models in the pictures that come with the frame? I have an out of control, elaborate lie I need help with.
@LifeStricken: [Job Interview] HR : What do you consider your biggest weakness? Me : (pulls out machete) *whispers under my breath "I can't forgive people"
@13spencer: Kevin Hart said that he has turned down roles because the characters were gay, which is weird because I didn't think he knew the word "no."