@shadygeekdad: I want to be a host at a restaurant so if someone asks for a booth I can yell, "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE BOOTH!"
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@NicestHippo: [doctor gets job as 911 operator] "What's your emergency?" MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE "Hmm ok let's wait a few weeks and see how it is then"
@KevinFarzad: What's being in love feel like? You know when someone cancels plans you wanted to cancel anyway? Almost as good as that.
@noogscorner: Our brain took two billion years to evolve. Two billion trips around the Sun. All so humans can use it to look at kittens on the Internet.