@WHEREISWALTJNR: I want to be featured on the news and the caption below me to read *unintelligible screaming*.
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@JohnLyonTweets: This haunted house sucks. It's just people sitting in cubicles under fluorescent lights looking sad. Wait, this is real life? NOOOOOOOOOO!
@XplodingUnicorn: Coworker: Do you ever think about work at home? Me: I don't even think about work at work.
@TheAlexNevil: 7 barges into bathroom while I'm showering, laughs & says "I saw your peanut." He either mispronounced a word or made a hurtful observation.