@DepecheALAmode: I want to get married just so I can throw my wedding ring in anger. I bet it's a lot cooler than aggressively untying a friendship bracelet.
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@imagine_vegas: If any of you ladies want pancakes for breakfast, just come over....you can make them here, because I want some too
@Crunk_Jews: This midlife crisis has a lot less bank heists and high speed car chases than I had imagined.
@WheelTod: *Prosecution points to badger*: Objection! This animal has no place in court! Defense: Your honor, the badger is prosecuting the witness
@TheRolo: You guys talk about sex like it's so great. I had sex once and she made me take off my jean jacket. Just not worth it.