@JustinSayne722: I want to grow my own food but I can't seem to find any bacon seeds anywhere.
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@Donna_McCoy: Sorry I declined your Facebook friend request, but I can't have those sideburns popping up in my news feed unannounced.
@TylerLinkin: Yesterday I fell, landed on my back, and could not roll over and get up. At the time I was wearing a Turtleneck Sweater.
@TheToddWilliams: [Japan] HEAD SCIENTIST: Hey, what did you guys do with all the nuclear waste? *distant Godzilla noises*
@waydybee: if a pea-brain is someone with a small brain, then a peacock is someone with a ...? no?