@johncheese: I want to hire someone to wake me up each morning by bursting into my room and yelling, "Get dressed and grab your gun -- they found him."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheRolo: Me: [Sits down to eat breakfast] Girlfriend: Babe, you forgot the French Toast Me: Oh sorry [raises glass] VIVE LA FRANCE!
@jonnysun: i am only capable of working on things in zero stress or extreme stress situations, in all other situations u can find me laying down and patiently waiting until extreme stress kicks in
@GrantTanaka: Best thing about drinking in downtown LA is that if u need a bathroom, it's all around you
@Darlainky: *watching smart car washed away in a flood on the news* If it was really smart it would know how to swim.