@Mr_Kapowski: I want to know the backstory of when an eyelash turns evil and says "That's it. I'm done protecting the eye. I'm going in to destroy it now"
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@tastefactory: I accidentally touched the underside of a public toilet seat with my finger. Well, you had a good run, finger. *chainsaw sound*
@KeetPotato: wife: "im sorry, he has to try everything before he buys it" store owner: "it's okay" me: [lying in a coffin] "the first one was better"
@longwall26: If you love something, set it free. Maybe not sharks though. Or bees. Viruses. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don't love anything.