@samalmightysam: ''I want to ruin some songs today.'' -The producers of Glee every morning.
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@InternetHippo: [Martian welcoming party] We’re so excited to welcome our friends from Ear—ok it’s another robot car everybody. Why do they keep doing this
@Jack_Wagon1: Ironic... is having a coke machine reject your dollar bill for it being rolled up to many times.
@ksujulie: Ice cream employee: I didn't know you had kids! You always come in by yourself. Kids: WHAT?! MOM! It's like she didn't want a tip.
@3sunzzz: My sign? I'm a Zebra, no grey areas for me. Narrator: Ursula was indeed a Libra. She often confused astrology with zoology.