@robyn_vo: I wanted to have sex with Uma Thurman until I saw her toes in Kill Bill.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@degg: just mowed the backyard [idiot mocking voice] "but deg what will u do this weekend?" hell, the way it grows i'll be able to mow sunday idiot
@13spencer: Katy Perry says that god spoke to her before the Super Bowl and said “you got this,” so it’s safe to say that god has crappy taste in music.
@MentalAbortions: Why would I want to quit smoking? Oh, to live longer. Why would I want to live longer?