@Black__Elvis: I was a bit upset that the condom I found in my wallet had expired but at the end of the day I'm just glad my wallet practices safe sex.
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@Sassafrantz: [takes a sip at wine tasting] Ah yes, this is nice. You can really taste the wet dog and Code Red Mountain Dew.
@PJTLynch: Has anyone checked whether cows really have 4 stomachs? Because it kinda sounds like a lie a cow made up once to get more food
@xLitaLitax: Losing weight doesn’t seem to be working for me, so just gonna concentrate on getting taller
@elle91: Everyone should own large grizzly bear in case they ever need to defend themselves against one.