@JonasPolsky: I was about to commit suicide, but then a Nicki Minaj song came on the radio -- so I committed suicide twice.
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@wolfpupy: popcorn, or as cerebral smart minds such as myself refer to it 'popped corn', is the number #1 food of watching things
@Cage_unlocked: 5 steps to a happy marriage: 1. Doritos 2. Oreos 3. Pez 4. Mr. Noodles 5. Oops this is my grocery list. 6. Still applicable.
@Dani_Feld: Relationship status: I just found a piece of chicken in my hair. I ate it. Then looked for more.
@clindsaysway: An obese old man who breaks into your house at night? A tiny flying woman who buys your dead teeth? It's a wonder children can sleep at all.