@TheAlexNevil: I was cleaning one of my finger guns and accidentally blew a hole through my air guitar.
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@amydillon: It's not a family vacation until someone threatens to throw a prized possession from a moving vehicle.
@3sunzzz: If you don't let me in the bathroom, I can't guarantee your safety when you pee. ~dogs, apparently
@wickedsuga: The earth revolves around the sun. So, I guess if you want me to revolve around you, you're gonna have to set yourself on fire.
@ilovepie84: I can help anyone quit smoking by spraying them with hair spray as they light their cigarette.