@simoncholland: I was going to sign this permission slip to let my daughter watch The Grinch at school but I haven't heard back from North Korea yet.
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@Marcmywords2: "You think I'm smart, right?" Not tonight baby, I'm too tired to fight. Annnd that's how the fight started.
@ThaJawn: (Confessional) Me: I played badminton and enjoyed it Priest: That's not a sin Me: I don't understand this religion...
@XplodingUnicorn: Tonight's parenting lesson: If a 2-year-old says, "I'm going to puke," FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T CALL HER BLUFF. I need a shower.
@TheToddWilliams: BOSS: I have some tough news INVISIBLE MAN: Go on BOSS: HR says we need to hire more "Visible" minorities INVISIBLE MAN: This is bullshit