@RidiculousSheri: I was in a gang once. We wore blue, traveled in packs, and ruled our turf with shiny instruments...wait. Band. I was in the marching band.
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@AbbyHasIssues: Whenever someone says, “Good question” I never hear their answer because I’m too busy congratulating myself for asking such a good question.
@ElleOhHell: [front of card] No one will find your body [open card] as attractive as I do [back of card] lying at the bottom of an abandoned mine shaft
@robfee: Make your employees work 8x faster by constantly playing that music from Sonic the Hedgehog when you've been under water for too long.